With a heavy heart : (

MAY 2002 - AUGUST 12, 2012 - OUR DAYS TOGETHER

Sadly I am posting that Sunday, August 12, 2012 was Roxy's last day.
Her spiral downhill was rapid and the tough decision to put her to rest was made.
On our last morning we went out for our morning walk and it was very apparent that Roxy did not want to be here anymore. She was extremely bloated and when she  got out of the wagon she tried to urinate, she squatted down but nothing came out. I tried to help her walk a couple more steps and she really resisted. I was able to get her to void some, but it was a small volume. I knew that this was the day. My best guess is that her brain was not talking to her organs the way it should or that the feelings that tell us what to do were diminished. Keep in mind all of her movements were fully assisted.

She had a wonderful day at the park with ice cream and then a bone in ribeye steak for dinner. Then some beef carpaccio and some tasty pastas. We had the people from Choice Home Vet come over and administer the medicine at 7pm. Her last moments were licking ice cream out of  my hand. She then fell asleep and she felt at complete peace. She had a light snore, and it occurred to me that she probably hadn't slept soundly in a very long time.  She felt really happy and at peace. As bad as it was, it was a wonderful moment. She went out happy and content.

The problem wasn't that she couldn't urinate, the problem was that her body was shutting down piece by piece. Her left legs did not know what they were doing, and as hard as she tried, her body was not working. Her sleep was restless and thrashing.

I feel horribly guilty, racking my brain for something else I could have done. It has been confirmed by
her veterinarians that there was nothing that we could have done for a different outcome.
Wednesday I went for a run and about halfway through the run I felt beautiful Roxy running along my side. The happy excited running girl she used to be. The odd thing is that when I left the park I no longer felt her along my side. Roxy stayed at the park : )

Roxy's love stays with me and she worked really hard through these personal struggles. I found a blog that talks about when a dog no longer enjoys their quality of life.   I read this article after she was gone, but it shed some clarity on whether Roxy was enjoying her life as a dog should. She was still content laying her head on my lap, but the physical struggles were hard and I felt that she was very tired from the simple task of (fully assisted) getting out of bed to the sofa. I was fearful that her brain was shutting organs down as well as her  motor function. I am not sure if it was fear or premonition that something global was going to go really bad and she wouldn't have the luxury of having some last moments of enjoyment.

These decisions are extremely  difficult and very personal. We all have our own comfort levels of what we feel is right, and when that decision should be made. We all do our best with what we have.

Roxy is doing great! And prednisone free : )

Sorry I haven't posted more recently. Very busy here.
Roxy is about 4 months out of cyberknife treatment and doing fabulous.
Roxy has been successfully off of the prednisone since mid April. She was on the prednisone for about 12 weeks, tapering down slowly.
Roxy had been having some episodes of pottie issues in the house, which I understand Jake is/was having too. She was having constant diarrhea for a bit (she has a history of stress colitis). I wasn't too worried at first, but decided to take her to the vet to learn that she had picked up giahrdia. More importantly Dr. Carlsen did an ultrasound and found that she had sludge in her gallbladder and crystals on her liver. He prescribed her antibiotics (a two or three month regime), which seems to have cleared up this problem. I know some of the other cyberknife dogs have issues with somehow forgetting their house breaking rules.....Roxy has always been very good about not going in the house.
OK, besides the health issues mentioned above Roxy is fabulous! The cyberknife treatment saved her life and gave her joy back. I know she would not still be happily alive today if we did not do this procedure.
I know other people are finding this website by doing searches regarding "dog brain tumor". I hope we help you. It is so sad to watch our dogs when we know they have a brain tumor.
Roxy still has a few moments of confusion, and sometimes in the evenings she has a lazy back foot that scuffs slightly, but over all she is back on track.
Here is a video taken of her last month yapping at the squirrel in the tree.
Keep in mind, when I first realized Roxy had a brain tumor was when she wasn't chasing the squirrels at the park!! She also was not wagging her tail at all. By the way, she was never very good at climbing trees, so her stumble as she falls down is not unusual.
I hope my post helps some of you with your doggies.....it is a heartbreaking time and I feel for you all.
Here is another peculiar thing......Roxy used to always get sort of car sick and have panic attacks when we were in the car. Now she enjoys looking out the window and being in the car. She also stays off the bed during the day.....not that I would use Cyberknife as a training tool : )

Here is the link to Dr. Lyons Cyberknifepet Page